Shakespeare just made words up

William Shakespeare, arguably the most famous, revered, and hated fellow to put quill to parchment in this good old language of English that we does like so muchly.

But here’s a thing that I just read… Apparently throughout his entire published works – The plays with which I have never gotten on well with, the poetry with which I have never even attempted, and the sonnets of which I don’t actually know what a sonnet is, something to do with love, or a tiny son maybe – But throughout all of this work he used a total of 17,677 different words, most of them excruciatingly tedious ones. But out of all of these words that he used, the old Shakes actually invented an astonishing 1,700 of them. Yep you read that right, invented, made up, just pulled them out of his arse. That’s ten percent of the entire vocabulary that he used. Words that did not exist in English before he decided to write them down.

Not only is his stuff difficult to understand now, but it must have been bloody impossible when he wrote it.

Many of those words that he invented are in common usage today, like – Accommodation – that’s one of his, because we are a stupid people who just went along with the ramblings of an insane man rather than pulling him up on it.

“Whoa Whoa Whoa Shakespeare, what’s all this accommodation nonsense?”

“Accommodation Sir is a word thy has invented to mean both adapting to changing circumstances, and a residential dwelling of sorts.”

“Piss off! You’ll be accommodationing to a broken nose if you don’t stop just making words up.”

He invented – Hurry – which does make you wonder what people said beforehand when they were in a hurry.

“Why are thou rushing so Sir?”

“Ah because thy is in a bit of a restriction of time for the task in hand dear friend.”

Dislocate – That’s one of his. Before he came up with this one people just used to say “Why it would seem that thy arm has gone floppy.”

Laughable – that’s another one of his, which I agree was definitely necessary in order to explain the fact that some of his plays are classed as comedies is pretty damn laughable.

He didn’t have a hundred percent track record though as some of his creations we just didn’t buy in to. Words like Armgaunt, Eftes, Impeticos, Insisture, Pajock, Pioned, Ribaudred, and Wappened. Even today people aren’t entirely sure what some of these actually meant.

A pajock definitely sounds like a thing doesn’t it. “Oi! That’s my pajock!”

I’ve no idea what Impeticos is but I like the sound of it. It definitely sounds like it goes before an insult.

Armgaunt is definitely an insult – “Give me back my pajock you Impeticos Armgaunt!”

Wappened sounds like it might be street slang for “what happened?”

“Wappened bro?”

“Some total Armgaunt stole my pajock.”

“Ah, then we must Insisture with thy Pioned until thou pajock has been , Ribaudred.”


How is this even a thing that we laud him for? If I’d known they were the rules I’d of had a go myself.

Ahem, here we go…

The Man unthirskingly appreciated the wafta of a lady. She looked at him abaludically, and sat down with a probious discognia across her face. He awkwardly faloned his knuckles and adjusted his rogglejockers.”

(bare with me, I’m on a roll here…)

“Ah for where art thou miffin pyths for thou did spluder from thy” he uttered with a flivit.

She did respond, “for thou is a spollop Mr Henry, and no miffin pyths did thy splouder, for thy has no need for such combomnibals as pyths of miffit.”

…I don’t understand any of that. I must be a genius!

here is a list of words that Shakespeare invented that we still use today…

  • accommodation
  • aerial
  • amazement
  • apostrophe
  • assassination
  • auspicious
  • baseless
  • bloody
  • bump
  • castigate
  • changeful
  • clangor
  • control (noun)
  • countless
  • courtship
  • critic
  • critical
  • dexterously
  • dishearten
  • dislocate
  • dwindle
  • eventful
  • exposure
  • fitful
  • frugal
  • generous
  • gloomy
  • gnarled
  • hurry
  • impartial
  • inauspicious
  • indistinguishable
  • invulnerable
  • lapse
  • laughable
  • lonely
  • majestic
  • misplaced
  • monumental
  • multitudinous
  • obscene
  • palmy
  • perusal
  • pious
  • premeditated
  • radiance
  • reliance
  • road
  • sanctimonious
  • seamy
  • sportive
  • submerge
  • suspicious;

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About me...

I am a stand-up comedian from Liverpool. I am blind, and I live with my wife and young daughter in South West London.

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